Hey. Remember me? Yeah, hi. I’m still here. I feel like you’re a more intimate group, my more comfortable group, even though I know we’re at a party where I could potentially be within anyone’s earshot. I know that. I just want to gush for a minute and you know, you really only do that with your closest girlfriends. Or guyfriends. And it’s Tuesday, so.
I consider myself a writer, a little bit—mostly just in the way that I write about the things happening in my life (first I said ‘major things’ but let’s be real, it’s everything), and I feel as though I haven’t given this the attention it deserves just by keeping it to myself. Paul is a very private person (if you haven’t deduced from his blog) so I haven’t said much because of that. This is my little hunched-over, hand-over-mouth, whispery smiley gushing session.
I am so in love it’s ridiculous.
I have never felt this loved in my entire life. Paul is the first person I’ve ever been with who tells me the things I need to hear more than what I want to hear, especially when it’s most challenging, especially when I’m feeling my most stubborn. That means everything to me.
Anytime I’ve mentioned looking forward to the future lately it’s because I know he’ll be there. I have always been a one-day-at-a-time type of person, but it’s so easy to talk about the next year, three years, five years with him. We have plans for five years from now, guys. That’s insane to me but I’m in love with it. I have an idea of where I’ll be in five years, even if it is a shoot-for-the-stars sort of thing. We both have an idea. It’s the same fucking idea. I’ve never had that before.
We followed each other on Tumblr in November of 2012, just because we liked each other’s music. He was always respectful of anything going on with me—that stood out right away, not something I was necessarily accustomed to from males on tumblr. I’m just saying. Interest eventually grew and at some point over the summer he asked if he could get to know me better and I basically said no, because he seemed great but was too far away. Yeah well, look how that turned out.
Two weeks and he’s here. I can’t wait.