Hey, guys.

Hey. Remember me? Yeah, hi. I’m still here. I feel like you’re a more intimate group, my more comfortable group, even though I know we’re at a party where I could potentially be within anyone’s earshot. I know that. I just want to gush for a minute and you know, you really only do that with your closest girlfriends. Or guyfriends. And it’s Tuesday, so.

I consider myself a writer, a little bit—mostly just in the way that I write about the things happening in my life (first I said ‘major things’ but let’s be real, it’s everything), and I feel as though I haven’t given this the attention it deserves just by keeping it to myself. Paul is a very private person (if you haven’t deduced from his blog) so I haven’t said much because of that. This is my little hunched-over, hand-over-mouth, whispery smiley gushing session.

I am so in love it’s ridiculous.

I have never felt this loved in my entire life. Paul is the first person I’ve ever been with who tells me the things I need to hear more than what I want to hear, especially when it’s most challenging, especially when I’m feeling my most stubborn. That means everything to me.

Anytime I’ve mentioned looking forward to the future lately it’s because I know he’ll be there. I have always been a one-day-at-a-time type of person, but it’s so easy to talk about the next year, three years, five years with him. We have plans for five years from now, guys. That’s insane to me but I’m in love with it. I have an idea of where I’ll be in five years, even if it is a shoot-for-the-stars sort of thing. We both have an idea. It’s the same fucking idea. I’ve never had that before.

We followed each other on Tumblr in November of 2012, just because we liked each other’s music. He was always respectful of anything going on with me—that stood out right away, not something I was necessarily accustomed to from males on tumblr. I’m just saying. Interest eventually grew and at some point over the summer he asked if he could get to know me better and I basically said no, because he seemed great but was too far away. Yeah well, look how that turned out.

Two weeks and he’s here. I can’t wait.

Dudes: what NOT to put on your okc profile


Stop with the Halloween pics.
I don’t wanna see you cuddling with your cat.
Pictures with you and skinny hot girls. No.
Pictures with you and big groups of people. WHICH ONE ARE YOU!? Nothing worse than realizing you’re not the hot one.
DO post a picture of your dog or your motorcycle or your tattoos. I’m into that. Or pictures of you with kids, especially nieces/nephews.
Most of all learn how to take a goddamn selfie. It’s 2013. You have a camera phone. You don’t gotta duck face it, but learn how to get a decent angle. Christ.

Self-Summary: Don’t say you don’t know what to say. If you can’t figure out a paragraph or a few bullet points to sell yourself to me how the fuck are you going to hold a conversation on our date? Be different, be clever, be witty, be funny. But don’t be too weird. Use proper spelling and grammar. Stumped? Say what it is you’re doing on this website and what you’re looking for

Tell me what it is you’re actually doing with your life and things you’re good at in those sections.

Keep the favorite books/movies/tv shows/food section concise. Honestly I usually don’t even read it but I skim for names that stand out. A basis of something in common but it’s not that important. But to some girls (like Ali) your taste in music is extremely important so be honest but to the point.

Don’t list air, water, or your iPhone as things you can’t live without.

Answer or don’t answer the “most private thing I’m willing to admit” section. If you don’t want to answer, leave it blank but DON’T say “no” or “ask me” or “I don’t say private things on a dating website” THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Don’t say you’re looking for casual sex. While I will hookup on Okc, I’m turned off if you claim that up front, it basically tells me you don’t want to date you just wanna get your dick wet.

Finally, honestly and cleverly fill out the “you should message me if…” section. Geez what do you want from this ridiculous website?! Tell me. I rarely message dudes but if you’re interesting and funny and original and don’t take it too seriously and aren’t too weird lets fucking go out and be awesome together.

Just learn how to do an online profile.

This is my real-life best friend. Obviously.

Can you tell us a little about yourself? Not much to go off of on your page :) Just curious Anonymous

Yes! I forget sometimes that people follow me here that don’t have my ‘regular’ blog — which, if you’re interested, just let me know and you can have the link.

I’m 28, I live in Chicago and have lived in the city proper for about six years now, I think. I’m an only child, but now I kind of have a 15-year-old brother because he’s living with my parents indefinitely since my aunt/his mom super sucks at the whole ‘mom’ thing. I’m a full-time grad student, but I work full-time too and I kinda hate my job but that’s how it’s supposed to be for now, I think. I love my classes so they don’t really feel like work. I say “I think” a lot. I have a big streak in my hair that used to be purple and now it’s pink again and pretty soon I might go all red, dark red, and see how that pans out for my dating life. I edit my posts a million times after I initially post them. I love a lot of things. Playlists made for me and sushi dates are major keys to my heart. Music is a huge thing for me. So huge that when I was in fourth grade, I played the violin but only until I kept forgetting to show up for my lessons—which were in school, during the day. I’m really great at remembering things.

…I think I’ve run out of meaningful things to say about myself. What’s your story? :)

do you have another tumblr? Anonymous

Anons all over the place today!

I do. I write about ~real life~ things there. Or, not.

Yes, I have another tumblr.

Always an adventure.

My first serious ex—the guy I met at the end of my first year of college, three years older than me, who took my virginity and put up with me for almost three years and then unofficially but kind of sort of but not really proposed AFTER we broke up (he had the ring in his car, it was a family heirloom that he must have had to convince his mother for YEARS to have and and he showed it to me and said “yeah so, I was going to give this to you pretty soon anyway…you can still have it if you wear it on the right finger?” while we were hanging out because we didn’t know how not to hang out after we broke up), whose mother hated me for no reason other than she saw me as a threat to the relationship she had with her son and I still don’t know how she gave up that ring—just messaged me on okstupid. “Fancy running into you here.”

I can’t even. I cannot.

Don’t settle. Enjoy dating. Date anyone and everyone. Date them for a week, a month, a year- whatever. Don’t settle and marry and have kids with someone you’re not completely sure about. Doubts are there for a reason. If I had listened to those doubts, I would have saved myself so many headaches. I don’t regret it, because I have my kids, but now I have three kids suffering through my crap with me. Playing and dating is great. Enjoy it. Don’t settle into anything you can’t walk away from.